Kim Kardashian – Nordstrom’s

Kim Kardashian appeared at Nordstrom’s last Wednesday to promote Fusion Beauty.  Being Kim Kardashian, I figured it would be a huge event. This was an autograph I really wanted.

Nordstrom’s was passing out 150 wristbands that would ensure you a place in line and ensure an autograph. I wanted one of those wristbands.   The only catch was you needed to buy some makeup from Fusion Beauty to qualify.

I was game.  If the wife didn’t want it, I’m sure I could find some poor wanting young lady that would take it off my hands.  It’s these little things we do that say,” Hello, my name is AH and I collect autographs.”  The first step is always admitting you have a problem.

After calling Nordstrom’s to confirm the time and place, I set the alarm for 5AM. I wasn’t sure if there would be a line when the store opened but as I mentioned: I wanted this autograph.

When I arrived a little before 6AM, I drove around the mall looking for a line.  Since I didn’t see one, I parked near the store entrance where the cosmetics were sold and just relaxed and listened to the radio. In no time a few people drove up and parked and then they entered the mall.  At first, I thought it was mall walkers but they were dressed too fancy. So I decided to check it out. When I entered the mall I saw about 15 people sitting at the tables in front of the Nordstrom’s coffee shop. The stanchions and ropes were set up for the lines and security was already watching the small crowd.

As you can imagine being a male was rare. One guy (henpecked?) was there with his girlfriend. Then there were my fellow intrepid collects. Somehow were ended up huddled together against the omnipresent estrogen filling the room. We braved the covert and often overt glances from these females; while we couldn’t see what they were thinking we KNEW they were thinking something.

Eventually we got in line and watched the doors open to Nordstrom’s.  The manager had dozens of employees greeting and applauding us as we entered the store.  People were quickly led to a chair and a cosmetic specialist proceeded to touch up our looks with Fusion Beauty products. The females in front of us were downright giddy about this.

Being the second guy in line, I watched my first compatriot move to the front of the line and do the walk of shame.  It’s sad to see a fellow autograph hound cowed. Having bought ’unmentionables’ before, I held my head high and looked my cosmetic specialist in the eye and said: Just give me whatever so I can get an autograph.  He gathered a few items up and handed them to me.  Yes, I was well on my way to getting my autograph.

I moved from the cosmetic specialist to the cash register. I paid and I got my wristband.

Yes, Success!  I was one of the 150. I will be seeing Kim Kardashian in person. I was one of the rare ones that will get the autograph! It was barely 10AM and I have confirmed I have no life. 

I only needed to come back before the signing at 4:30PM.

I returned at 3:30PM. They were still selling Fusion Beauty and giving out wristbands. I could have slept in.  You know how this works right?  If I slept in, they would have sold out at 10AM.

Again, Nordstrom’s was well organized and the event went off without any problems.

The line slowly moved and I stepped up to the signing table and Kim smiled. She looked me in the eyes and then looked down to sign my photo. She lifted her head and smiled as she handed the autographed photo to me. We paused. An awkward silence filled the space between us. I had nothing to say. I mumbled “thank you” and she silently nodded back.  I left.

I found a fellow collector and we compared war stories.  The place was still busy and the crowd was buzzing. Cameras were clicking and flashing.  Security was everywhere. It was an “event”.

It was time to go home and rest.  It was a long day for me but even a longer one for the Nordstrom’s people.

I got that autograph that I really wanted.  It’s all about the hunt.  It’s all about the pursuit.  It’s also about the denial that I have a problem. No Autographics Anonymous this week.

AH