Autograph Hound's Blah Blah Blog

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Kiowa Gordon – Twilight’s Embry

I’m sure you all know who Kiowa is.  I’m sure you’ve watched Twilight (did you realize they pumped out 3 movies already?) a dozen times. I’m sure you wear your Team Edward and Team Jacob t-shirts to bed every night.

Me – I’m the guy that wears the shirt – Buffy staked Edward – End of story…so I had no clue who Kiowa Gordon was.  I saw the first movie. I didn’t know they had 3 of them on DVD already. 
So I came across a web posting about Kiowa Gordon signing. Okay. I flipped past it. Then somewhere in the back of my little Autograph Hound’s mind I registered: Twilight.
I paused. I questioned myself. Did I see the site mention he was in Twilight? That he was a Werewolf? Was he the Team Jacob mascot? I’m thinking, holy cow. I need to get that autograph.
Yeah, that is the disease of autograph hunting. You get a celebrities autograph even when you don’t know who he is.
So I go to the page I passed and get the details.
While slightly disappointed to find out he’s not Jacob I did decide to stand in line. The signing is the next day at 6PM and the line starts at 4PM.
I’m an experienced hunter. I know how big Twilight is, even though it’s not my thing. I know the DVD has only been out a few days and it’s on a lot of Christmas lists.  So I decide to show up at Noon.
I get to the store expecting to find people already standing outside. No line. Okay, maybe the store took pity on the fans and brought them inside. I entered and walk through the store and didn’t see anything that remotely looked like a line. I scan through the aisles looking for the autograph setup. Nothing.
Huh. Did I get the wrong store? That would be a bad thing. By the time I get to the other store I’d be way back in line. I asked an employee. She didn’t have a clue what I was talking about. Not a good sign. I asked another employee and got the same response. As I’m about to leave the store to check the address, I asked the guy that checks the receipts. He said yes, this is the place. Come back at 4PM. I started to ask another question and he interrupted me to repeat – come back at 4.
So I go back to my car and hang out for a while. I read. At 1PM I enter to see if a line has started. Nope.
I come back at 2PM. Same results. Although I did see where the line will start.
At 3PM I notice about a dozen teenage girls hanging out and spying on the signing table. Like Musical chairs – they are circling; they don’t want to get in line but they don’t want to be caught when the music stops and they need to find a chair.
At 3:30PM I get in line. About 20 people are ahead of me. There is a dad. We are the lone males. There is a mom.   That is total of 3 adults. The rest are girls barely in high school or younger. 
At 4PM the crowd has swelled to 30 people.  They passed out wrist bands to ensure we would be one of the first 200 to get our special gift.
At 4:15 Kiowa arrived with bodyguards and the estrogen level is now insanely high. With these levels of estrogen I fear my biological clock will start ticking. The girls are jumping up and down and one is actually crying with excitement. Mom is crying because she is laughing so hard at her own daughter.
The crowd is now 50.
Kiowa is friendly. He allows the girls to pose all they want with him. He talks and they idolize him. The line is slow as molasses but that makes sense because of the amount of time he is spending with each girl.
My turn, I had over my DVD cover and he looks around me expecting to see my daughter hiding behind me; my phantom daughter that is too shy to come out.  He doesn’t find her and signs my cover. He mumbles a ‘thanks for coming out’ and I mumble an embarrassed ‘thank you’. We shake hands and I’m surprised by his rock hard shake.
I move aside for the next girl and stand in the line to get my gift. I got a Twilight t-shirt.
I left, slightly embarrassed but I got my signature and my story.


  1. Although I love the vampire genre of fiction, I confess that I've never read a Twilight book, nor seen one of the movies, nor would I recognize any of the actors if they came up and bit me on the neck!

    Ah, the perils of age...dropping out of the pop culture scene!


  2. GG- One day I need to tell my attempt to get Stephenie Meyer autograph at ComicCon. Not only was I the wrong sex, I was far too old by 3 1/2 decades.

  3. AH - Yes, I look forward to that one! You need to adopt a kid to go with you to get all these pop culture idol autographs!