Autograph Hound's Blah Blah Blog

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Lines, Lines, Everywhere Lines

(Apologizes to Five Man Electrical Band and their song Signs.)
Lines are at part of the autograph process, especially when going to an organized event.
Good comfortable shoes are a must.  Some water and something to eat are good to have to have also.
Most importantly, you need to embrace your Inner Cow.
It’s a Zen thing. It’s a Relax your Mind and Float Down Stream thing (Beatles).
If you don’t acknowledge and love your Cow, the lines will get to you.  Maybe not at first but after a few dozen lines that last several hours you will be beaten down. You will be crabby and you will lose your center. You’ll give up and be unsatisfied.
After you embrace your Cow, you’ll see lines when others don’t; the nominal wait of 2 hours will fly by; anxiety will vanish. It’s as simple as finding your Cow and loving him.
Even after you and your Cow are buds, it’s not all clear sailing, at times you will lose your center but you can often quickly find it again.
Hank Aaron
I lost sight of my Cow at The National a decade ago. I was in line for Hank Aaron. It was Sunday afternoon. He was late. My flight was only hours away.  I still needed to return the car and get to the airport. I had a numbered ticket that put me in the back of the line. I was stressing.  The inner turmoil of staying and getting the signature or leaving and ensuring I made the flight gave me heartburn. I fidgeted. I muttered under my breath. I took a breath and tried clear my mind. I made my decision. I found my Cow and I relaxed. If I missed the flight, I missed it. I’d deal with that latter.
I should have left though, not because I missed the flight but because the signature was awful. He was tired by the time he got to me and his autograph did not look like his customary one. Oh well.
Jennifer Love Hewitt
Seeing lines others don’t is helpful in getting a better position in a line. It can also backfire.  At my second ComicCon I was trying to find the line for Jennifer Love Hewitt. The booth was inside the convention floor but the line was out in the concourse.  The line wasn’t organized and the directions were vague. I found the line and saw I was about 50 people deep. Pretty good and I was happy with myself.
After a few minutes the line moved. Odd. The signing wasn’t for another 2 hours. Then the line inched forward again. And again it inched after a minute.  I asked someone to hold my place and then I tracked the line to the beginning.  It was a line for the ATM.  D’Oh!  I left chagrined and found another amorphous and that turned out to be the right one. While my position in the new line wasn’t as good as it was for the ATM line, I still got my autograph.
It's a Marathon
While holding onto your inner cow you realize it’s not a sprint but a marathon.  ComicCon is a good example of  lines being a mile long or lines lasting hours as people start camping out at 5PM for the 10AM opening.

Once one line is done, it’s time to find the next one, then the next. It’s a long weekend of Wash, Rinse, Repeat.
It's a sea of people that seemingly never ends.

By the end of the 5th day your feet, ankles, knees, and hips hurt. You have blisters and even after drinking lots of water you’re dehydrated.  But you have survived.
So embrace your Cow.
Moo...Moooo….Git along Little Doggies…Moo.. Moooo.


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