Autograph Hound's Blah Blah Blog

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Cindy Crawford – sometimes they watch back

I tell this story all of the time and people really don’t believe it. Maybe I’m not telling it right…
Yes, I got Cindy Crawford’s autograph.
Yes, I asked her out on a date – to a home cooked meal.
Yes, I was married at the time- still am married and to the same woman.
And lastly, yes, Cindy blew me off and was VERY interested in my friend Elbe.

Set the Wayback machine to 1996 and Cindy Crawford was signing her book Cindy Crawford’s Basic Face at Wal-Mart.
I heard about the signing while I was lunch so it was a last minute decision to leave work early to stand in line. One of my coworkers asked if he could join me. I had no problems with that so Elbe and I drove in one car to Wal-Mart.
Elbe was a college football player. He still lifts weights and looks like a pro athlete.  He’s a good looking young guy with a good sense of humor.  He can be very quiet at times and he can also be very raucous at other times. He has charisma and people generally gather around him at parties and such. Today he chose to be timid. 
Even though we got there 30 minutes early, the line wasn’t too long. The line wrapped around the aisles of the store but we could hear a loud mummer ahead of us. As we got closer it turned out to be a hundred high school kids standing near the signing table hoping to catch a glimpse and get a photo of Cindy. They weren’t in line for a book just to see her.
That crowd of kids let us know when she arrived.  A roar echoed through the store when she walked to the table. Every few minutes they would organize a chat to get her to look up for a photo.  Cindy would sign 5 or 10 books and then look up to the crowd with a wave and smile.
As I got to the table I said hello and she looked up. Yes, my heart skipped a beat and my mouth started to say: I’d like to invite-
But she cut me off with a raised hand.  She looked at me. Then she pointedly looked at Elbe who was standing innocently behind me.  I think Elbe actually moved a step back to hide behind me. She then leaned over to her side and looked around me.  With a big smile she asked who was with me. I turned and said: He’s a friend. He’s a Supervisor at the office I work at.
So I turned back to her and tried again to say: I’d like to invite you-
Again she cut me off. She gave Elbe the ‘look’.  The look of – Ooh, I’d like to get to know you better.
So she asked Elbe what he did for a living. Elbe meekly replied: Ms Crawford, I just came with my friend. I only wanted to see you in person.
 If you know Elbe, he may be quiet at times but he isn’t meek very often.  She repeated the question about what he did. He gave her a 2 sentence description and she accepted it but never really took her eyes off of him.
Yes, I was jealous. I may be a geek but I have some pride. Clearly I was meatloaf and Elbe was Filet Mignon.
Now I figured my chance was gone as she was handing me the book. 
She said: You said something about wanting to invite me…
I was impressed. I figured since Elbe caught her eye what I said was nothing more than a buzzing of a bee in her ear. I really debated in that fraction of a second whether I should give up and take the book or bull forward. Discretion is the better part of valor. Then again, how often do you get to meet Cindy Crawford?
Yes, I took my shot.
 I said: I wanted to invite you home for dinner. I bet you’ve been on the road for long time and a home cooked meal would be nice. My wife and I would love it.
She is good. She has been hit on by thousands of people. She has had important people; influential people; people from all walks of life try to persuade her to come home with them. She has gone to thousands of parties where she is drinking and others are drinking and people get sloppy and stupid and she has practiced her art of the let-down. Her craftsmanship showed when she responded to me.
Without a blink of an eye she tilted her head slightly and said with a genuine smile: Ahhhh. That is so sweet. [Eyebrows crease a little] I’d love to meet your wife and have dinner with you. Your right, I have been on the road a while. [She paused for effect] But I’m leaving on a flight tonight. I have to pass.
Then she made her smile into a slight frown so I’d know that she was frustrated that her scheduled was inflexible.
Did I feel 10 foot tall?  Oh yeah.  I just asked Cindy Crawford out. And I just got turned down by Cindy Crawford. I got turned down so well, I didn’t realize at the time I was blown off. I really thought she had to leave on a flight.
I thanked her for the book and she thanked Elbe for coming to visit. Yes, she did make a point of thanking him.  Obviously she wanted one last look at Elbe before he left.
Did Elbe feel 10 foot tall?  Oh yeah.
We drove back to the office and all the girls wanted to know the typical questions:  Is she really that pretty? Was she nice? What was she wearing? Etc, etc, etc.
I didn’t remember what she was wearing. But I decided to make life interesting for Elbe and told then Cindy was drooling over him.  Did that ever send the office into dizzy. It didn’t take long for every woman in the office to know about what happened and come over to check to see if he had any lipstick on his collar.
When Elbe got tired of answering questions he returned the favor and threw me under the bus by telling the girls how I asked Cindy out on a date.
Yes, that was more chum for the sharks. Before the Spanish Inquisition got too wound up, it was time to leave and I shut down my computer and went home with a freshly signed copy of Cindy’s book.

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