Autograph Hound's Blah Blah Blog

Monday, December 23, 2013

Sara Underwood #WizardWorld Austin 2013

First – as I sit in front of the key board I mystically wave my hands in front of the monitor and say: Mom…Dad… this is NOT the blog you’re looking for…

1200 miles away, Mom and Dad are reading this with a confused look on their faces.

I sense the disturbance in the internet...I then say: You can go about your business.  Move along…move along.

I pause and reach out, feeling the energy field that surrounds us and binds us…no luck. I know they are reading this. Ugh. 

Second – Your Honor, I plead guilty but with extenuating circumstances. I was led astray by associates of lesser character.  I deliver my 400 previous posts as evidence that I’m a ‘nice guy’ that you really can take home to mom. I’m not that guy that leers and drools over Playmates. The behavior recently displayed, while mild among the general public, was an aberration and I also find it embarrassing. 

Your Honor, I would like to further state, that the photo which is the center of this event is rated PG.  Not even PG 13. While Miss Underwood is clearly naked, she is also clearly covered.

So…After vising Ivy Doomkitty, Dee and Dee walked with me as we checked to see if Sara Jean Underwood was back at her table.

It was perfect timing. We saw Sara leading the way behind a rather large handler/bodyguard.  She walked past us. Trying not to stare, I noticed her abs.  Her shirt exposed about 3 inches of stomach.  She proudly showed the abs that most women find impossible to get. Somehow Sara balanced a low carb diet in a way that allowed the muscle to display but keep the softness and beauty in her face.

Since I noticed the belly, I noticed the waist of the jeans. They almost seemed loose.  Often with celebs that are models, the clothing is skin tight to accentuate their figure.  These jeans, while tight about her thighs and calves, seem to have room around the waist.

And she wore 4 or 5 inch platform stilettos.  Yeah, I noticed the shoes.  She quickly and gracefully walked to her table in these tall heels.

The 3 of us gave her a few seconds to settle before we walked up. We were still discussing my ‘flirting’ with Ivy as we said hello.  We all had silly grins on our faces and Sara rewarded us with a big smile. 

I quickly scanned the selection of photos. She had a manila folder marked as ‘over 18 only’.  She also had a dozen photos not in that folder. She has a photo marked as ‘my favorite’.  Another photo was designated as ‘most popular’.  Both were very tempting.  And the photo I planned on getting signed, her in red lingerie, was prominently displayed.  While this shot is racy for me it’s fairly tame. 

As I tried to actually talk to Sara (about G4 and Attack of the Show), my friends teased me and I admitted to the group about being embarrassed.  I think Sara laughed.  Dee then told Sara that she didn’t even know me.  Which is funny although I was blushing at the time. Dee continued that I just started following them to the table. I should be watched closely. I swear the bodyguard took a step closer to the table.

I was about to select ‘my’ photo when Sara looked at me and asked if I was sure.  Then both Dee and Dee made some suggestions.  I think Sara was about to open that manila folder.  Their ideas of what I should get was way way way beyond what I would be comfortable getting signed.

I told everyone I couldn’t get what they were suggesting.  I said if I did, I could never post the photo. I told them all I only have one reader. That’s my Dad. I CAN’T show that to my Dad. Yes, there was more laughter at my expense.

So we settled.  I selected a photo out of my comfort zone. Even as Sara signed I was embarrassed. I’m really surprised Dee or Dee didn’t suggest a photo with Sara.  I’m sure I was bright red.  The way that Sara seemed amused by us, I’m sure the photo would have been entertaining.  Well, except to the wife, who would have listening to my explanation with a skeptically raised eyebrow.

I thanked Sara and the 3 of us left.  Even though I was still slightly red, we were all laughing. My next goal was to hide the photo. I needed to unsling my backpack and slip the signature into a top loader. Everywhere I turned, I saw ‘young ones’ looking at the photo.  Next they would turn their eyes to mine. Without saying a word, I could hear them ask: Really, that’s the photo you decided on?

Once the photo was put away, I really did relax.  The adventure was over and life could go on. Dee, Dee, and I went to a late launch.  We had a good meal and great conversation.

So your Honor, that’s my story.  As you can see it’s all very innocent.  I’ll admit its behavior of an 18 year old and not a 50 year old.  No one was hurt.  Even the wife got over this, AFTER one slap to the back of the head.  I’m actually glad my friends used a little peer pressure on me. It’s a great signature on an ‘interesting’ photo. 


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