I bet you know what I mean by ‘beat down’. Not quite a tongue lashing but a situation where someone is going over tiresome dialogue for the Nth-teenth time and in the end it makes no difference.
We all have a coworker that says the same thing at every meeting. The room will collectively (albeit silently) groan. Eyes will roll and then glaze as everyone tunes out. Whether they say the same tired pun or corny bon mot, it just beats you down every time.
It drains your life force. You look for any escape. Sometimes it’s so bad the 3rd story window seems like a viable option. The eye glazing is self-defense and its reflexive - the body is trying to protect the brain from the onslaught. Like getting hit with a phaser in Star Trek – you freeze – time stops. You hope when you awaken the beating is done or there’s an opening to escape.
I hate when people do that to me. I’m sure you hate it when it happens to you.
I have seen it at autograph signings. It seems to happen after a long frustrating day for everyone. There’s always a line behind the person delivering the beating. I’m empathic as the celebrity is stuck like a bug in a killing jar and the beater just blithely goes on and on and on. I can feel his pain and wince as the lashing continues; unable to render help.
The beater doesn’t mean to be to mean. The exchange can be as silly as confusing the actor with someone else or asking them what else they have been in or just droning on about the inane.
That is my crime. I’m guilty of ‘the inane’.
And to make matters worse it was premeditated. I planned on doing it. I even told my wife about it in advance.
I plead guilty and will take my punishment – I know karma will come back with a vengeance.
I recently watched the Buffy the Vampire Slayer series for the first time. Yes, I know it’s been off the air for 7 years. But I watched it anyway.
Then I started playing poker. As I played I would watch the episodes on line. I would open three tables. That would cover ¾ of my screen. Buffy fit so snuggly in the open bottom left corner of the screen.
I played a lot of poker. I watched a lot of Buffy.
I watched the 7 seasons in about 3 months. That includes the 5 seasons of Angel.
And as I watched, I saw the characters flesh out and mature. I liked Xander. Even though he was comic relief, he seemed more sensible, more adult like. After high school, he didn’t go to college like the rest. He worked. He had a hard time finding a fit. He tried and failed at a slew of jobs. He didn’t give up. He had a goal. He wanted out of his parent’s basement and he worked at it.
While the rest of the Scooby gang cut class, Xander would work. He was a good role model. He was an example of the American Way – work hard and you will succeed. He did succeed. He finally found the one job that he meshed with. He worked his way up to foreman at the construction company.
Then Buffy died. Yeah, what’s new there? Willow and Tara move into Buffy’s house to keep Buffy’s sister safe. Okay, not a bad thing. That all makes sense.
Buffy comes back from the dead and they tell Little Miss Buff that she is broke and they spent all of her mom’s insurance money. Willow and Tara leave and move back to the dorm. Like pigeons (or consultants) – they made a mess and then left. Did they offer to help financially? No, they did not. Obviously they had money as they paid for their dorm room. That was money that could have used to help Buffy. But they didn’t. They left and said ‘poor Buffy’.
Xander’s my guy. He’s the unsung hero of the series. He’s a hard worker. He’s someone that took responsibility for his own actions. He’s a man of the people. Where would we be without people like Xander? He worked hard. He kept going regardless of the difficulties. He’s the backbone of society.
Xander…Xander…Xander… (visualize a fist pumping in the air).
That was what I told Nicholas. Well – I didn’t do the chant or the fist pump. I do have some self-respect.
It was Friday at Wizard World and there was no line. I walked up and told him I was going to deliver a beat down. He didn’t even flinch. I checked behind me to see if anyone was waiting and then I launched into my inane dialogue. Something that no longer matters as the show is off the air. It no longer matters as he’s working on another show. It doesn’t matter as it’s just a stupid TV show. It was silly but I felt SOOOOO good delivering it. I wanted to be mean but I was so caught up in his character I had to unload.
I took a breath and I saw a couple was behind me. I knew it was time to go. I apologized and made to leave. He stopped me. He asked if I was any good at poker. I paused. I said I had my good days and I had my bad. He nodded. I asked if he played. He said no but his brother plays all of the time.
I smiled. Not because we had a nice little exchange. I smiled because I hadn’t beaten him down too badly.
He shook my hand and said he really appreciated my comments.
I’ll admit it, I was a little giddy.
Xander…Xander…Xander…
AH
